Here's to the first of the day!

Do you know what I'm sick of, I'm sick and tired of not having that beautiful life that all those wonderful beer commercials promised. Where are the bikini clad girls washing my antique car while tapping two kegs of black beer that never seem to get emptied. Where are the fast boats that are anchored next to mine that seem empty until I open a can or ice down a 30 pack and college coeds come pouring out of the doors and driving up on jetski's.
Promises were made, money exchanged hands. Yet all I have to show for the sheer amounts of excess is a hard liver, high blood pressure, and a constant desire for more.
Guinness is good for me, bud is king, I am a high life man, these are my montra's. These are ingrained in my mind and cant be escaped. Drinking is my main vise and I want those perks that they show on TV, billboards, girls swimsuits, neon ads....
Well I'm outta here, I'm hitting hennessey's for liquid lunch, anyone want to join me?
Here's to the first of the day!!!