Nice People Are Boring

This weekend, I was hanging out with some friends...and a couple of their friends. One of THEIR friends, began a story like this: "So this girl turns, looks at me, and she throws a beer bottle at me that nearly takes my head off...and it smashes into the wall behind me". Instantly intrigued, my ears tingled and I turned to catch the tale. But instead what I got was a synopsis of who was there, how she knows them, how much drinks cost at the bar that night, the exact location of the incindent, the proximity of the moon in relation to the Earth, the baby names she is kicking around, and what tastes good on hot dogs...By the time she got to the actual story, it was too late because I was in the process of throwing a fully loaded beer can at her head. In doing so, I guarantee that she will almost assuredly bore some other poor unsuspecting soul with a tale about an AFC championship football game that she was watching when some guy turned and threw a fully loaded beer can at her...then she will recite to them the letters in the alphabet that she likes, the ones she tries to avoid, the new car smell in her best friend's Diamante, the direction of the wind during said occurence, and the places she'd like to go on vacation...

I didn't throw a beer can at her...that wouldn't have been cool. But I still don't know why the girl in the bar threw it at her either. I know everything else that I never wanted to know though which leads me to the point. Nice people are boring. No one in her story cursed. No one acted foolish or did something disturbing to anyone else. Did she ever reach that point? I am not sure because I stopped listening after twenty minutes (I'm being nice about the twenty minutes thing too). It really is a shame too because this person seems like a super nice person (which is how I am sure that she would describe a person that she likes). And before you think I am going to say that this is a female trait, it is not a burden of women alone. Knowing some rather boring men, I can assure you that this type of situation happens all the time. "Yeah so I went to pick up some cash at the ATM, and I decided to stop and get a car wash...I didn't pay for the wax though because I only had fifteen minutes before my doctor's appointment" and so on and so on...GET TO THE POINT! They never do though and this in and of itself is the reason that I wanted to post this imperative plea to all the nice people in the world...and I am sorry if this is insensitive but here I go:
PLEASE STOP BORING ME WITH THE MUNDANE DETAILS OF YOUR EXISTINCE. I WILL ADMIT TO THESE SIMILARLY DRY DETAILS CONSUMING MY LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS (I.E. BRUSHING ONE'S TEETH). I WILL NOT BORE YOU WITH MINE. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT WHAT YOU ATE FOR BREAKFAST, WHERE YOU TAKE YOUR DRY CLEANING, WHY IT'S NICE TO PICK OUT YOUR CLOTHES THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR FRIDAY MORNING CONFERENCE CALL , ETC, ETC...AND PLEASE PROMISE NOT TO INTERRUPT A GOOD STORY WITH THE INGREDIENTS OF YOUR HOME MADE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. THANK YOU.